I miss jerking off in the steam room, just as something to do to break up my day.”Ī National Institutes of Health study of 1,051 gay men, published in April, found 69 percent reported decreased quality of life in the pandemic, with 73 percent reporting increased anxiety. Duh, look around: historic unemployment, lockdowns and travel restrictions, industries shuttered or limping along, bailout apathy from Congress and the White House, a Supreme Court that may nix healthcare for millions, and a nationwide nightmare of new COVID-19 infections. Perhaps there was another, more primal culprit too, as 68 percent of those gay men also reported decreased opportunity to have sex. "I felt like I was dipping my pen in a poisoned well-physically, emotionally, spiritually poisoned. Radical shifts began in the lives of the men I spoke with, as well-worn habits gave way to novelties. For the first time in seven years, Barrett began masturbating (“I hadn’t needed to before”). Chasing what he called " optimal hedonism," Harvier began mixing ecstasy into his orgasms. Wein, who had a date with a Tinder match-and three-year crush-on the first day of lockdown, turned it into a two-month staycation in a self-ascribed “marriage of convenience.” And writhing in the longest sexual drought of his life, Ari, 43, a New York-area doctor who began sleeping in a room separate from his husband to avoid contagion, started masturbating in the shower at least twice a day, bought three vibrators (a first for him), began a hentai fetish, and learned hands-free orgasms.